Week Five

This week all of the children have been sick. Coughs, runny noses, earache, plugged noses. And then the baby got thrush. Everyone has slept poorly (understatement?), especially the Little Prince. And then he got thrush. WE got thrush. His sore white tongue has its counterpart in my sore red nipples.

I have tried to be two people all week. Failing that, I just try to do two things at once. Carry the fussing baby and cook supper; carry the sleeping baby and sweep the floor; feed the baby and read stories to the Big Brother; feed the baby and sleep; Walk with the baby and think. Most of my thinking is about planning when I will sleep next or when I will get to the important things I must do. But reading Wherever You Go There You Are during feeding/burping sessions has been just the antidote.

I can't make the baby stop crying and get well again. And I can't make things happen by thinking hard about or wishing them to happen. Like Kabat-Zinn says, "If you did die all your responsibilities and obligations would immediately evaporate. Their residue would somehow get worked out without you." The world does keep going when everyone is sick at home. The laundry piles up but it is still there when the sickness passes.

Breastfeeding is a great chance to sit and "not do" for a few minutes. Last week I took a few minutes one evening to remember to just be. I breathed. I listened to baby's breathing. I smelled him. I stopped and just existed in the moment. It was wonderful. I must remember to do it several times today.

A few words about carrying baby. I have borrowed a Snugli front pack from a friend and I really like it for going for walks. I also have an "vintage" Over-the-Shoulder-Baby-Holder handed down from somewhere in the '80's. I revisited the instructions for carrying baby in a sling and that was really helpful. The sling is very versatile and, once you get the hang of it, a great way to carry baby around the house. The instructions are at babyholder.com/how2tie.htm.

I've had thrush with a baby a few times before. It is an oral form of Candida Albicans. And it is very painful. Baby doesn't want to eat because sucking hurts his tongue, but he is hungry and uncomfortable. Then he doesn't sleep. White patches appear on his tongue or inside of lips. Nipples start out itchy and painful and then let-down feels like broken glass in the breast. Since it was the weekend, I tried natural remedies: lemon juice on baby's tongue after each feed. A daily dose of acidophilus powder mixed with breastmilk for him; I applied aloe vera and olive oil laced with garlic oil on my nipples. This kept it from progressing rapidly but by Monday afternoon baby wasn't feeding well and I was ready for relief from the pain. Now he is on oral nystatin drops and I have some wonderful cream called Lamisil. I also asked the doctor for an oral dose of diflucan. I am boiling his pacifier daily and added a cup of vinegar to my laundry this morning. Baby slept better last night and is eating much better today. www.kellymom.com has wonderful resources about breastfeeding and "more than you ever wanted to know about thrush."